Do Better Writing Blog

How to Convince an Indecisive Customer to Say Yes


Do you know these 3 principles of persuasion?

My phone’s front cover is in bad shape.

The tempered glass is broken. The screen has cracks everywhere, a scratchy surface, and a blurry display. My daughters chide me about its decay. And what’s worse is the shame I feel. I don’t show pictures to my friends because I fear their judgment.

My phone is a mess. And can you fully explain how gigantic a turtle is without a photo to verify its size? Especially if you discovered the reptile while walking in your ordinary neighborhood?

I’m avoiding fixing it. I guess I’m resigned to its flaws.

On the positive side, I can still …

  • Text messages
  • Read emails
  • Listen to podcasts

But I don’t like to view pictures, look up information, or watch short documentaries on my phone. I wait and do those tasks on my computer.

Using My Phone has Become a Real Pain

I recently returned home after a spring break road trip with my daughter. Lots of driving. We unload the dusty Honda CRV (aka a modern-day, beefed-up station wagon) and dump the bags in the entryway. There is no space to even walk among the belongings.

“Anybody see the manila folder labeled “Urgent Tasks”? I ask our housecats. No response.

I dig through a crate, hoping to find the file. Instead, I find an unopened pack of screen protectors for my phone.

Do you suppose finding the pack is a sign?

‘Cause while we were on the road, my phone became dangerous to my health. When I’d touch the screen, my fingertips would scrape along the rough edges. Ouch! Scrolling my news feed had been mentally painful for months – now reading the news is physically ouchy as well.

It’s called a screen protector, not a fingertip slasher.

Soooo, finding the pack is a nudge to act.

[I’m putting my writing on pause.]

Okay, I did it. I removed the damaged screen protector and applied a new one.

And ta-da …

The view is sparkling and crystal clear. And pain-free!

We live in bubbles of our own making

Looking back, the broken phone screen was such a nuisance. I wish I had fixed it earlier. I was stuck in status-quo land.

I think we tend to stick to status quo. Order the same dish at our favorite restaurant. Buy the same brand of socks to replace our old ones. Copy and paste the same marketing messages we’ve used in an earlier campaign.

It’s familiar. It’s safe. It’s a coping mechanism, perhaps.

What if you could have both –> proven principles of persuasion AND fresh copy?

Applying the Secrets of The Science of Persuasion

My daughter is graduating from Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT). I received a well-written email from RIT. It an excellent example of masterful copy.

Copywriters at RIT know their stuff. They demonstrate using persuasion principles effectively.

The copywriter applied three principles from Secrets of The Science of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini & Steve Martin. Plus other copywriting techniques.

Why should you care? Because I took action on the offer, and I wasn’t intending to. Here’s how you can influence your customer to respond with a “yes” …

Last Chance to Honor Your Graduate with a Pin!

I was brainstorming ideas for recognizing my daughter and making her graduation day memorable. In the midst of shopping for her graduation gift, I received this email.

Rochester Institute of Technology email to parents of graduates

Were the RIT Annual Giving team members reading my mind?

Why this was a good email:

  • Applied the scarcity principle by emphasizing lack of time
  • Tailored subject line – topic I cared about and stressed urgency
  • Delivered email at appropriate time

Principle of Scarcity

When you position the offer as scarce, people want it more. It’s called the Scarcity Principle. The email expressed time to order was becoming scarce. The subject line highlighted how I would miss out if I didn’t buy now. The email contained versions of “time is almost up.”

“People want more of those things they can have less of.”

Using Scarcity for Persuasion

“It’s not enough simply to tell people about the benefits they’ll gain if they choose your products and services. You’ll also need to point out what is unique about your proposition and what they stand to lose if they fail to consider your proposal.” – Robert Cialdini

  • Subject line with “Last Chance …” not only showed urgency, but also was specific to me “Your Graduate …”
  • Headline started with “Don’t Miss This …”

The messages were also effective because I recognized RIT name in my inbox. The branded email looked familiar. Since I know the email’s origin, I knew it wasn’t spam. RIT had earned my trust with consistent, helpful emails.


The love affair began earlier …

I enjoy reading RIT’s Parent and Family Newsletter. I’ve praised their email copy in a previous article. The RIT team makes me feel like they are writing to me personally. See how they do it here.


Principle of Reciprocity

“Simply put, people are obliged to give back to others the form of a behavior, gift, or service that they have received first.”

Embroidered neckware for dogs created by Sue Barry
Samples of Sue Barry’s handiwork. She personalizes and gives neckware to her clients.

Using Reciprocity for Persuasion

Here’s an example of reciprocity. My friend, Sue, recently started a dog sitting business. Being multitalented, she creates a special gift for every customer. Each dog receives a custom-made bandana personalized with the pet’s name. She makes these gifts because she enjoys making arts and crafts. Plus, she loves spreading kindness to others. 😊

She’s using a secret from the science of persuasion in an unexpected way.

Dog wearing a customized embroidered bandana.
A lucky dog wears a custom embroidered bandana created by Sue Barry.

In the RIT email, Victor offered me a gift of a personalized Digital Yearbook Ad or Tiger Paw Spirit. I perceived the gift as personalized and unexpected. His gesture motivated me to give back.

To see your college student’s name and picture on 440-square-foot LED video screen makes a parent swell with pride, wouldn’t you agree? So proud! [Acknowledgment: I rewrote ten versions of the personalized Digital Yearbook Ad. She’s the oldest, therefore, the first to graduate. I had to get the message perfect.]

Keep in mind, for this principle, it’s not just sharing a generic gift. Your thoughtfulness and initiative are required. Robert Cialdini says be the first to give. He also suggests how you present the gift matters. Think about their preferences.

What’s their love language? Do they like words of affirmation? So tell them sincere compliments along with the gift.

Think about how they will perceive the behavior. Some people will feel the compliment is insincere. They may value actions instead of words. Perhaps a customer referral is the gesture they’ll appreciate. Recommend them to a customer you think is a good fit. And don’t forget to alert your customer. You’re supporting two parties:

  1. Helping a business grow
  2. Connecting a person to a company that will satisfy their needs


Thank you for your generosity landing page

Rochester Institute of Technology thank you landing page

Why this was a good landing page:

  • Displayed no stock photos
  • Informed me to check my email for next steps
  • Offered options to easily engage with brand — conveniently displayed on one landing page
  • Set up a quick way to give a video testimonial
  • Sent from an actual person
  • Used Social Proof

Principle of Social Proof

“Especially when they are uncertain, people will look to the actions and behaviors of others to determine their own.”

Using Social Proof

After I contributed, a landing page popped up. The messages thanked me, as thank you landing pages do. But the copywriter inserted some social proof as well.

“You’re officially part of something special with 371 other people.”

See the sentence circled in orange in the image below. By sharing the number of people donating in real time, I felt like I was part of a larger impact. I also felt validation. Because my peers (fellow parents) contributed, I found the cause worth contributing to. I also gained a sense of belonging — like I was doing an action others believed in as well.

Rochester Institute of Technology thanking donors for the RIT Give Campaign

I was open to giving because of the trust the RIT team had built. I perceived they were reliable because they delivered regular, consistent messaging over four years. And here’s the kicker — the messages didn’t feel like marketing. More like a kind gesture.

A thoughtful, generous moment shared between university fundraising staff and a proud parent.

RIT copywriters integrated evidence-based copywriting principles, including principles from Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini, a book helping writers be more influential.

So you could read the book, and I certainly recommend that you do. Or you could just save yourself the trouble and hire someone like me who understands the principles … and sees the secrets revealed in marketing every day.

Open Discussion

  • What is one action you wish you had done sooner?
  • What gifts you’ve received from a company that were meaningful?
  • What gift would you love to receive from your favorite company?

Post your comments below.

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Shannan Seely, copywriter, portrait

About Shannan Seely

B2B and Healthcare Digital Copywriter 📝 | Website, landing pages and email copy expert

Don’t Fear the Boogeyman of Marketing: Artificial Intelligence

Artificial intelligence for Marketers sign

Develop your AI skills now to be impossibly good at your job

How do you feel about AI? Last year, I was intimidated. I experimented, but AI was still clunky to use. I’ve tried to learn through listening to podcasts and reading articles. Too passive. To truly grasp AI’s benefits, one needs to use it daily.

So I am.

I also believe writing about a topic helps me understand it better, so here’s my first post about AI. Happy reading!

If you’re in a regulated industry, you may be hesitant to jump into experimenting with artificial intelligence tools. Are you waiting until your company’s C-suite weighs in? Several hurdles exist. Obstacles like data privacy, ethics, and a lack of company-based training.

You may be in the C-suite. A lack of skilled employees who understand AI is also a key factor in postponement. Integrating AI into existing systems is not a simple rollout and move on.

As I talk with marketers, I sense that some are putting AI adoption in their “maybe next year pile.”

Can AI wait?

Continue reading Don’t Fear the Boogeyman of Marketing: Artificial Intelligence

How to Improve Team Decision-making on a Marketing Project

web design on monitor

Here’s a simple technique to define each person’s role

On a recent family vacation, I decided to be flexible about our plans to keep the family peace. Three people choosing one itinerary is tricky. But flexibility isn’t always an asset when you’re planning to launch a marketing project.

Starting a website design upgrade triggers an avalanche of questions.

“What should be included in the hero section on the homepage?”

“What should we say in our “About Us” page?”

“What is the most important benefit to mention first on the product page?”

“What color should the call-to-action buttons be?”

Answering questions like these are examples of “micro-decisions.” That’s what my friend & marketer calls them. You make one micro-decision, then it’s on to the next one. These small decisions add up. The sum? A tower of a big decision. 

You make multiple micro-decisions when you upgrade your website copy and design. Decision-making for one person takes time. You’re thinking and working through the options. 

Imagine if 12 people were weighing in on each micro-decision?

hands joined together

You need to establish this BEFORE you begin the project

Continue reading How to Improve Team Decision-making on a Marketing Project

Make the Buying Experience Easy-peasy

🛍️How do you get to the Carnegie Hall gift shop?

I ditched my routine recently. I traveled to New York with a friend and my oldest daughter to visit Carnegie Hall for the first time. Which begs the question:

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

Because your daughter “Practiced! Practiced! Practiced!”

My youngest daughter plays the flute in her high school’s Advanced Wind Symphony. The band is excellent. It’s good enough to be Carnegie Hall-worthy. Two honor ensembles from her school – Advanced Wind Symphony and Advanced String Orchestra – were selected to perform at Carnegie Hall, as part of the Symphonic Series for Bands and Orchestras.

Stage in Carnegie Hall
Stern Auditorium/Perelman Stage

Carnegie Hall NYC. That’s a brand you’d recognize even if you’ve never attended an event there.

Continue reading Make the Buying Experience Easy-peasy

Tempted to Throw Away the Manuscript on 5 Separate Occasions

😣The dark secret about showing the client the “first” version

I just finished reading my first book written during the pandemic era. The title is Cloud Cuckoo Land: A Novel by Anthony Doerr. A significant length of 640 pages, but the book didn’t seem long. You can hear the editor’s praises (without giving away spoilers) here.

Now I know why the book was on the New York Times bestseller list for 19 weeks. The novel is about five characters whose stories cover almost six centuries. The people are all interconnected through a priceless ancient text.

Why mention it?

First, in case you didn’t know, Anthony Doerr is famous for winning the 2015 Pulitzer Prize in Fiction. He invested ten years researching and writing the award-winner, All the Light We Cannot See.

The book received reviews like this:

“If a book’s success can be measured by its ability to move readers and the number of memorable characters it has, Story Prize-winner Doerr’s novel triumphs on both counts. Along the way, he convinces readers that new stories can still be told about this well-trod period, and that war–despite its desperation, cruelty, and harrowing moral choices–cannot negate the pleasures of the world.” Publishers Weekly (starred review)

And this:

“Intricate . . . A meditation on fate, free will, and the way that, in wartime, small choices can have vast consequences.” The New Yorker

But if you suspect I’ve drunk **the Anthony Doerr is the Greatest Author of All Time kool-aid**, hold on.

Continue reading Tempted to Throw Away the Manuscript on 5 Separate Occasions

Wake Up, B2B! Use Concrete Phrases to Sell More Today

concrete art refers to concrete phrases in writing

Everyone loves a good story. Good storytelling requires concrete details. Straightforwardly true. But is B2B listening?

I recently read a consumer research article, published in July 2020, about how language shapes consumer behavior. And it’s not a psychological trick. Or a persuasion technique. Or some marketing-speak that bears no resemblance to the present B2B world.

Gathering evidence from “five studies, including text analysis of over 1,000 real consumer-employee interactions, demonstrated that customers were more satisfied, willing to purchase, and purchase more when employees speak to customers concretely.”

What?!

Express yourself concretely and get more sales? Simple word choice is a game-changer. Really?

Yes, really!

So can we apply this language tip to shape the attitudes and behaviors of our web visitors? Sure we can. Let me share details about concrete details.

Continue reading Wake Up, B2B! Use Concrete Phrases to Sell More Today

10+ Digital Marketing Tools to Create Delightful Content

Creative Confidence book cover

While I help marketers build their growing businesses, I’m also Marketing Chief for my company. Thought I’d share the marketing tools that help me produce attractive content for my growing audience. A copywriter doesn’t work alone. Well, yes, she does, but she also relies on great tools and platforms.

Here are the resources I use every day, beyond a spiral notebook and a pen (staples!).

Continue reading 10+ Digital Marketing Tools to Create Delightful Content

Web Copywriting: What Content is Important to Include?

Morning beginning sky pink and bluee

How a web copywriter approaches planning a website

Whether you’re considering a website update, or a complete makeover, you have many questions. “What content should I have on my website?” is a common one clients ask. Web copywriters get this question all the time.

I could answer, “It depends.” But let me try to answer the question another way.

How does a web copywriter undertake gathering, sifting, and choosing the content?

She concentrates on creating the copy an ideal prospect desires to read.

Continue reading Web Copywriting: What Content is Important to Include?

Use This Unadvertised Technique to Write a Super-Captivating Headline

Looking to update your sales collateral? I have three words for you.

Headlines. Headlines. Headlines.

Headlines in your sales materials are a big deal. They’re like a theatre marquee located downtown. Building a lot of fanfare. Designed to attract an audience. A paying audience. Enticing the audience to come through the door or read the copy.

Continue reading Use This Unadvertised Technique to Write a Super-Captivating Headline

How Voice and Tone are Powerful Magnetic Forces to Charm Your Customers

Two women talking on string telephone necklace set

On your marketing assets to do list: ✅Update sales collateral. Salespeople need it! Like, yesterday.

Right now, the sales team is creating emails, one-page sales sheets and slide decks on their own. You see the inefficiency, plus don’t the salespeople cover large swaths of territory?

Salespeople need to spend most of their time in the field. Not coaxing a wi-fi printer to print in high-resolution. Turning the home printer off and on when it glitches. (Oh, I remember these days well. I was a field sales representative for over ten years. Another story for another time.)

Who knows how the sales content looks when it’s presented to a customer. Oooo, you don’t want to know.

So what do you need to do? Where do you start? Let me share what’s brewing in my copywriter brain.

Develop a branding guideline

Why?

Prospective customers are getting to know your company. What does the company stand for? Not only what the company is, but what it is not. What do you want customers to think of your company? And if each salesperson is giving their own version, these muddled messages are causing distrust among customers.

To build one strong business relationship after another, sales collateral needs to stick to a consistent brand voice.

The brands that connect with their audience will be rewarded. According to the MBLM Brand Intimacy Report, consumers are open to paying a premium for brands they feel emotionally bonded to as compared to less-engaging brands.

In this series, I cover the basics of developing a brand voice and why that’s important. Already familiar? Then share with your team. Spread the knowledge. Just in case, a refresher may be useful. I’m all for avoiding confusion, and establishing a common dictionary is a good first step.

Here we go on the path towards defining a consistent brand voice. First, let’s explain the basic terms of voice and tone, the key difference between the two, and give some examples.

Continue reading How Voice and Tone are Powerful Magnetic Forces to Charm Your Customers